Palm Sunday Retold

And now for something completely different: my retelling of the story of Palm Sunday:

With the Passover festival approaching, Jesus and his growing troupe of rabble-rousers were headed to Jerusalem. As they sat around the fire on the last night of their journey, Jesus grew quiet and fell into a contemplative mood. While his followers drank, laughed, and danced, Jesus subtly beckoned his closest friends to follow him away from the camp. When they were gathered, Jesus lowered his eyes grimly and spoke in quiet tones.

“I’ve got a sinking sensation they intend to do me in,” he said.

His friends reacted in quiet shock. They muttered among themselves and offered reassuring disbelief.

“No, it’s alright,” he admonished them, raising a hand to still the group. “It’s inevitable. They’re afraid of what we represent — an end to oppression, to fear, to the unquestioned rule of empire itself. They fear me because I am beyond their power. And for that, they will condemn me to death.”

At this, the Twelve erupted with emotion. Some wept with sorrow, while others gave way to rage. Jesus allowed them a patient moment, then stood to regain their attention.

“I understand why you are upset, but this is the path laid out for me,” he said sharply. They were quiet at once. “The Son of the Human One will be given over to the priests and lawkeepers, and condemned to die. The very people we serve — my brothers and sisters — will turn against us. By the end they will even cheer their own oppressors!”

There was an uncomfortable silence. Finally, James spoke.

“What do we do?”

Jesus paused in thought a moment, then responded.

“Save yourselves if you wish. Deny me, abandon me. I’ll not fault you for wishing to escape.”

John rushed forward and grasped at Jesus’s cloak, exclaiming “We would never! We’ve come this far with you.” The others muttered in agreement.

Jesus plunked back down on his rock and stared at the ground in consternation. After a moment, he looked up.

“You’re certain?” he asked.

The twelve nodded and spoke their agreement softly.

“Very well,” he said. “The path is set. Let’s make this count.”

His friends drew near as Jesus picked up a stick and began to make shapes in the dust at his feet. They discussed and planned long into the night.

The next morning as they broke camp, Jesus approached two of his disciples — Stephen and Timothy. Taking them aside, he said, “Go ahead of us into the village. As you approach, the first house on your left will have a donkey tied up. Untie it and bring it back here.”

The two disciples glanced briefly at each other in confusion, then looked back at Jesus. As Stephen was about to speak, lips pursed in skepticism, Jesus interrupted.

“If anyone asks you why you’re doing this, tell them…” he paused, then continued in a boomy tenor, “‘The Lord Needs It’”. As he said this, he raised his hands in front of him, wiggling them slightly as he leaned forward in a dramatic fashion.

The disciples stared blankly. After a moment, Timothy spoke. “The lord needs it?” he asked, weakly wiggling his hands in imitation.

Jesus chuckled. “No, no, no. The Lord Needs It,” he intoned, opening his eyes wide to emphasize the point. “It will be returned shortly.”

Timothy blinked and looked back at Stephen, who was himself practicing the hand motion Jesus had demonstrated. After considering a moment, he looked back at Jesus and responded hesitantly.

“Oh…kay. We’ll be back soon.” And with that, they left.

Nearing the village, the disciples found the donkey as Jesus had said and began to untie it. A few moments later, a farmer rounded the corner of a nearby barn and stopped as he saw them.

“Hey!” he cried, pointing in their direction. “What are you doing with my donkey?”

Stephen and Timothy jumped in surprise. Timothy dropped the lead he’d been attaching to the donkey’s harness. Regaining his composure, Stephen stepped forward slightly and raised his hands as Jesus had shown him. Breathing deeply, he puffed out his chest and spoke resonantly as he wiggled his fingers.

“The Lord Needs It”

The farmer furrowed his brow and squinted his eyes, lifting his hands halfway in response. “The…lord needs it?”

Timothy rushed forward to Stephen’s side and raised his hands “Yes, The Lord Needs It.” He paused. “And we’ll bring it back shortly!” he added quickly.

The farmer raised his left eyebrow a moment, then glanced around as if looking for other pranksters. After a moment, his face lifted in recognition and he exclaimed at once, “Ah, then by all means!” and with that, he moved to help the disciples prepare.

As they rejoined Jesus’ band on the road, Timothy and Stephen laid their cloaks on the donkey and helped Jesus atop it. When they neared the city gates, Jesus signaled and runners rushed ahead into the streets shouting “Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!” as they went.

News of Jesus’ coming had already reached the city. Long under Roman occupation, the people yearned for liberation. Rumours had spread of a great king, coming to take the city by force — a conqueror, a warrior, a revolutionary. Many were ready for armed rebellion against the empire, and had prepared weapons to follow their new and fearsome leader.

But when Jesus rolled into town riding on a donkey, it was clear he came not as a conquering king, but as a bringer of peace — a servant of the people. As Jesus rode, the crowd threw their cloaks on the ground before him. Some cut palm branches and threw them on the path, while others threw flower petals into the air. There were cheers of joy and jubilation!

Before long, lawkeepers came to Jesus and commanded him to stop. “Order these people to disperse!” the lead officer barked, but Jesus would not yield.

“I cannot! Even if I commanded them to be quiet, the very stones of the city will shout out in their stead,” he bellowed in defiance. Then, raising his arms to the side, he nudged the donkey onward and grinned as the crowd cheered.

As the sun was setting, Jesus and his followers arrived at the temple. Climbing onto a staircase landing, the crowd grew quiet as he addressed them.

“The day of liberation is coming!” he shouted and the crowd cheered in response. He continued to speak into the evening, and then sent the crowd away. Jesus and his twelve closest friends toured the temple grounds and then retired to the house of an ally to rest.

…to be continued…